A Counsellor at the University of Cape Coast Guidance and Counselling Centre, Professor Linda Dzama Forde says real love does not happen at first sight however sexual attraction does.
According to her, real love is the totality of a person that initial attraction could grow if the people involved give themselves time to know each other.
“…and you’ve seen that yes, she has qualities inside of her that I’m attracted to. She’s not perfect but her pluses outweigh her minuses and I can live with that. That’s okay,” she said.
Professor Linda Forde advised the youth to avoid making relationship and marriage decisions based on feelings as that is not a certain way to know if what they share is true love.
She argued that Love is a choice a person must make and not just a feeling.
Highlighting the difference between real love and infatuation, she explained “Real love shares. Real love waits. Real love is self-discipline and real love does not threaten.”
“Real love seeks the welfare of the other person. Infatuation tends to seek its own quick personal satisfaction. There is an element of jealousy in real love but an infatuation is usually driven by excessive jealousy,” she continued.
The counsellor urged the youth to dispel the notion that being in a relationship is nice and easy adding that it should be of concern as relationships and marriage shapes one’s life.
“It matters whom you date. It matters whom you marry. It will shape your whole life. The rest of your whole life plus the children that you’re blessed with and we have got the blueprints in the bible.
“… love is a series of decisions. To be with her even when you are tired. To be with him when you are tired just because you love him. To help with their kid’s homework when you are tired and that is real love.”
Professor Dzama Forde also emphasized the significance of boundaries in every relationship, saying it protects the faith, dignity and body of the people in the relationship.
She notes that boundaries are healthy and can be established in relationships as a protection.
“You have your faith to protect, your dignity to protect and your body to protect, else everybody can violate your boundaries and boundary violators are dangerous people.”
Professor Forde shares her experiences, highlighting the costly lessons learned through trial and error. “We’ve all been there,” she states, “knocking our heads against brick walls before finally figuring out how to fix things.”
She therefore encouraged the youth to seek counsel from the experienced and the elderly to avoid making costly mistakes.
Read More News@ atlfmnews.com
Source: Flora Tang/ATLFMNEWS
