Recent events in society have unveiled the double standards of humanity, leaving me deeply uncomfortable and alarmed by the turn of events.
For decades, society has purportedly championed gender equality as a top priority, but as we have come to realize, this is merely a facade. Females, even amidst the supposed push for gender justice, have consistently been hindered by stereotypes that, frankly speaking, belong to the Stone Age. The very stereotypes that society claims to be eradicating are ironically being reinforced. Whether this is deliberate or incidental remains unexplained. From the basic institution of socialization, females are indoctrinated into doctrines that are detrimental to their progress and regressive in nature. Most females in our homes grow up with a severely diminished sense of self-worth, viewing themselves as inferior to others who are not inherently better than them. The antiquated stereotypes that have historically oppressed females continue to be perpetuated in cruel ways, even as gender advocacy efforts persist.
Despite forming the majority of the world’s population, females are ironically the most marginalized in the world they are supposed to influence by virtue of their numbers. Paradoxically, the majority in society has been coerced, through stereotypes, to subordinate themselves to a minority that stubbornly clings to outdated notions to dominate their fellow humans. While physical strength may have once been a prerequisite for leadership in society, the landscape has since changed with the profound evolution of our world. The era when physical prowess dictated leadership has passed, and the current attributes required for leadership are intelligence, innovation, and creativity—attributes possessed not only by men but also by women.
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In a just world, females would lead in every aspect, given their numerical superiority. However, it is disheartening to see that females often play second fiddle in many social spheres. Females are told they can have ambition but not too much of it, so as not to intimidate potential husbands. They can be successful, but not in a manner that threatens their spouses. This is scandalous. Females are constantly subjected to directives on how to behave and what choices to make in order to please men who do not have to concern themselves with similar constraints in their own lives. Why must females always be the ones to compromise in every situation? Throughout the world, it is females who are expected to yield ground whenever necessary. We often hear of instances where females are forced to sacrifice lucrative careers to maintain peace in their marriages. On the rare occasions when males are required to make similar compromises, they typically do not completely relinquish their interests but rather reduce their frequency. The irony here is stark, and the inequity glaring.
Society has made it a priority to educate girls about the importance of being concerned about what boys think of them, while the reverse is not true. Boys are not encouraged to care about their own likeability and are given the freedom to act as they please.
In situations where both boys and girls can play complementary roles, girls are often burdened with responsibilities while their male counterparts enjoy freedom. One might question whether girls inherently possess a cooking gene in their biological makeup. Is every girl interested in the art of cooking? And if not, why should it be assumed that girls must cook for their brothers, who could just as easily learn to cook themselves?
Girls have been conditioned to diminish themselves and submit unconditionally to their male counterparts, who are considered superior by societal standards. In the workplace, women in prominent positions are expected to be gentle and empathetic, even towards those who blatantly violate the rules. It is common to hear remarks questioning how a woman can be so harsh and stern, simply because women are taught that anger, aggression, and toughness are unfeminine qualities.
Society has made it nearly impossible for females to live comfortably on their own terms. Women owning property, which society perceives as a male prerogative, often face pressure to relinquish it to meet societal standards for marriage. Women who choose not to marry are ridiculed and subjected to harsh circumstances, pushing some to make regrettable decisions with lifelong consequences.
While society imposes unrealistic standards on females, males are also constrained by unrealistic expectations. They are taught to fear their weaknesses and vulnerability, and to suppress their emotions even in difficult circumstances. Boys are encouraged to deny themselves and conform to societal expectations, often shouldering burdens beyond their capabilities simply because they are male.
If we genuinely aspire to achieve gender inclusion, we must start by reforming societal norms and family dynamics, rather than merely proposing theoretical solutions. Patriarchal language should be eradicated from child-rearing practices to dismantle the mindset of patriarchal women who have internalized societal falsehoods, believing in the divine ordination of male dominance. Internalized patriarchy is particularly pernicious, as it convinces individuals that challenging male dominance is akin to defying natural order or divine will. Despite being sophistry, ultra-chauvinists use the bandwagon argument to suppress rational questioning, maintaining the status quo.
Women worldwide have long been subjected to unpaid labor, perpetuated by pervasive societal brainwashing. Why should a woman, after enduring the toil of childbirth and nurturing a child, not have the right to name that child after herself or choose a neutral name that acknowledges her labor? If a woman carries and delivers a child, it should be her prerogative to name that child, not the one who did not undergo the physical and emotional rigors of pregnancy.
The era of treating women as second-class citizens must come to an end, and society must embrace a new normal. One fact society often overlooks is that not all women have a maternal instinct or desire for childbirth. Despite this reality, society pressures all women, regardless of their preferences, to bear children. It is distressing to see patriarchal men shift blame onto women for infertility without considering their own contributions to the issue. Women are unfairly burdened with blame, as if they alone are responsible for conception and childbirth.
Furthermore, the practice of women being compelled to change their names upon marriage is absurd and serves to perpetuate outdated patriarchal norms. These women then face arduous legal processes to reverse the name change in the event of divorce, often at their own expense. If divorce is acknowledged as a possibility in marriage, why subject someone to a cumbersome process that may need to be undone later? What benefit is gained from changing one’s name? Will she not still be your wife without the name change? These unnecessary practices of subjugation must cease, and women should be empowered to make decisions that affect them.
Ironically, some patriarchal women seem to embrace these absurdities, failing to recognize their own subjugation. The discourse surrounding traditional gender roles must be discarded entirely, replaced with a more productive dialogue that benefits both sexes. We must understand that the Creator did not intend to prioritize one sex over the other but rather to ensure mutual coexistence in society. Greed and the pursuit of power have led some to oppress their fellow humans, using selective interpretations of religious texts to justify their crimes against humanity.
To liberate minds from the shackles of patriarchy, the language used in upbringing must be altered. Children should be taught to see each other as collaborators rather than as superiors or subordinates. Women must be allowed to live according to the principles of equality and justice ordained by a higher power, rather than being enslaved by unfair societal conventions. They must recognize the value in solidarity and sisterhood, working together to dismantle the chains of discrimination and segregation that perpetuate their enslavement.
Above all, social discourse must change. Language has a profound impact on how people think and behave, and we must recognize our role in shaping and perpetuating societal norms. Patriarchy is a toxic ideology that must be uprooted from its very foundation.
By: Emmanuel Kweku Buckman
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